Stones
by CharmingNotDarling
Summary: "Let me get this straight;" Natalie begins as she settles into the corner of his couch, relaxed and completely prepared for the conflict that's about to come bubbling to the forefront of their conversation. "You told her to cut him some slack?"
1. Steppingstones

Stones

Chapter I

Steppingstones

**A/N: This is my first time posting for this show… Inspiration struck after reading Blue by Anyadoll (whose Mentalist fanfic I'm madly in love with). This presents itself in three parts and is just a little something that would follow Toxic/Defective if I had my way… I hope you enjoy:)**

**Obligatory Disclaimer: Not mine, not ever. **

"Let me get this straight;" Natalie begins as she settles into the corner of his couch, relaxed and completely prepared for the conflict that's about to come bubbling to the forefront of their conversation. "You told her to cut him some slack?" Her voice is incredulous; it carries the tone of accusation and an air of disbelief.

Daniel continues to pace before her, hair hand-tossed, and eyes shut tight against her words.

"What would you have me do? Huh?" he demands without looking at her. "He shows up, unannounced- three times in one week I might add- the first time with a case, the second to wallow and the third to make amends. "What was I supposed to do? She loved him at one point, you know, how terrible could he be?"

Natalie's eyes widen as she lets out a breathe laced in aggravation, "I know I don't have to remind you of this but, this is the same man who, two weeks ago, accused you of leading her on and then advised you on how best to define your relationship when you denied your feelings." He turns to find her standing before him now, hands on hips and eyes like fire. "May I also remind that he's the same man who cheated on her; your partner, your dearest friend, your most favorite student?"

She starts toward him and leaves him with no choice but to back away. "He made a fool of her, in front of all her friends, broke her heart and tossed her trust aside and you want her to cut him some slack?" Her annunciation of the last half dozen words confirms her mounting displeasure.

"She's not my student anymore, hasn't been for years." He defaults angrily. Finds he can't say more or less of anything. It instantly makes him feel childish and foolish and worthless all at once.

Natalie turns away, annoyance and disappointment radiating off her in waves. The silence is thick. It's loaded down with emotions to heavy to put into words.

"She's more than all those things to me." He says it to the floor, all the haughty defiance gone with a single breath. "Donnie's an ass; I don't need you to remind me of that. And as much as the thought of what he did to her makes my blood boil, having him around makes keeping her at arm's length easier." Natalie watches him stare off and knows he isn't seeing anything that's there.

"Donnie was right." He says wistfully. "But, that doesn't make it ok. There will never be room enough for her in any greater capacity in my world and I'd take up too much of hers. It would never be fair to her."

The flames die in Natalie's eyes, and they soften and fill as she takes two steady steps towards him. "You're sweet Daniel. But your intentions, no matter how pure, are tainted in self pity."

Now he's the one with the gaze set aflame, he lifts off the desk and his anger demands her retreat.

"I know I don't have to remind you that we've had this conversation before." She can hear the sadness laced in the anger, understands the inner conflict and the need to prove himself. "She's worth so much more than anything I could offer her. She deserves the chance to have a future and a family, to be able to get as much as she gives."

He's defeated by the time he's finished his rant. When he meets her eyes he looks lost and exhausted.

"And what I want can't matter. Not when it will conflict with what she needs. And my intentions have nothing to do with pity." He adds almost sullenly.

Natalie retreats back to the couch, settles with an act of defeat but the posture of conquest. "How could you possibly know what she needs? Have you asked her? Do you even know how she feels? For all you know, she doesn't want anything to do with you romantically, just like she originally said. I have to say, she looked pretty serious to me when she told you you'd never have to ask if she was coming on to you"

He huffs out a breath, shoves at his hair again before settling his chin in his palms. "It was more than painfully obvious she had a crush in-"

"-Crushes are for children, Daniel." She interrupts with exasperation. "You can't possibly mean to tell me you still see a child when you look at her."

"She was never a child to me!" He states, words coated in conviction. "She's always been a bright, eager and-"

"-beautiful?" Natalie interjects once more, this time with an impish grin.

He can tell she's enjoying herself now, now that the rock is snugly placed beside the hard place with him in between. She lifts her brows to emphasize that she's indeed waiting on an answer when he gives in.

"I was going to go with dedicated but, yes beautiful. She was, has always been, will always be." He sighs in defeat, "but that doesn't matter, it can't matter."

"She's a big girl Daniel, an adult as you've agreed. I think you're doing both of you a disservice by making assumptions based on your own singular opinion." She stands again, stops beside him where he's come to rest along the ledge of his desk. "

"Hey doc, you okay?" Daniel turns to find Lewicki framed in the archway toting a large bag of what can only be Chinese and the groceries he intentionally left for. When Daniel doesn't answer he continues with another question.

"Where's Kate?" His perplexity mirrors Daniel's as both men regard the now empty room, each looking for a different woman, neither of them there.

"What do you mean, where's Kate?" Daniel demands after a moment, eyes shifting from anger to panic.

Max's face goes from confused to concerned in seconds. "I passed her on my way out, asked her if she'd like to stay for dinner since I know how she feels about Chinese. She agreed and I let her in as I left."

He gestures towards the headphones still settled around Daniel's neck, "Guess you didn't hear us." Daniel nods and notices for the first time that the music is still playing. Lewicki sets his packages aside and takes a few steps further into the room. "So you didn't see her at all?"

Daniel shakes his head slowly, still thrown off guard by the fact that Kate had been there and he hadn't known. It takes him an extra moment but, when he fully understands what's just happened he looks up quickly, passed a still concerned Lewicki to find Natalie standing pointedly by the door.

"You need to go after her, Daniel." She tells him softly. He nods and turns his eyes back to Lewicki,

"Dinner's gonna have to wait, I need a ride."


	2. Milestones

Stones

Chapter II

Cornerstones

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who gave the first chapter a shot and for taking the time to leave a review! Life has gotten in the way (what else is knew) so it's taken me much longer than expected to get this second part posted… Kate's thoughts are a little all over the place in this chapter… But I felt that was to be expected… let me know what you think? I hope you enjoy…**

Dusk spreads across the sky as Kate makes her way up the steps of Daniel's porch. She runs her fingers along the seam of the cold case tucked under her arm while she considers ringing the door bell. She knows it's not the smattering of facts or the half dozen glossy photos holding her back but, a mounting insecurity laced in self doubt and a less than subtle red haze of anger.

She still can't understand why Daniel would side with Donnie, let alone make a comment at all.

And yet hours later those words are still fueling the fire of adrenaline that's pulsing through her veins. For the life of her she can't understand how he could be compelled to hurt her so thoughtlessly, how he could be so ignorant to the impact of his implications. She knows she's always down played her issues with Donnie in his presence so his blasé, lighthearted comment shouldn't have been more than a passing thought by now. Yet when the surprise had worn off she found herself dangerously close to tears. She knows they've been toeing lines and sidestepping issues ever since they touched down from Pennsylvania but they also danced the dance of apologies and managed to fall back into their routine; or so she thought.

She knows she shouldn't have come. Not with the thrum of anger still pulsing and the danger of tears still hovering, but she knows it's the fear of losing what they've managed to maintain that's what's brought her this far.

That and the echo of a promise that there would be no more secrets.

She's nearly certain showing up unannounced and uninvited was a bad idea when the door opens and Max nearly knocks her off the porch.

"Hey, Kate, everything okay?" He checks his watch before catching her eye as he pats his front pocket, removes a slip of paper that is obviously a grocery list. He holds the door open as he steps outside. "Dr. Pierce is in his study. I'm gonna grab some Chinese on my way back, care to join us?"

She shakes the lingering doubt and turmoil from her mind and returns his smile "Hey Max, yeah sure, I'd love to."

(…)

Kate doesn't stop until she's safely tucked within the corner of her buildings elevator. She doesn't give herself a moment to think until the metal box starts its assent to her floor. Can't remember the last time she felt more angry or embarrassed.

"_She's more than all those things to me…having him around makes keeping her at arm's length easier… It would never be fair to her…"_

She begins to pace the small space and hears his belief in those words. They are both the light and the darkness that revolve around the entire evening's incident. To know that he struggles to keep her at a distance has her fighting off a few bursts of hysteria laced laughter.

No secrets my ass.

She had always assumed, feared even, that a child was all he saw when he looked at her. There had been times when, working cases, they'd discuss previous lectures or papers and her involvement would light a spark in his eyes. It would drag her back to her collage days, that look was the same one he'd bestow on her after readying one of her papers or hearing her voice in the lecture hall. She'd come to terms with it, excepted it for what it was, built her resolve on the foundation of friendship and pushed emotions of a greater caliber aside.

And now, this opinion she has always believed he carried of her, this mindset that had become her greatest strong hold when it came to keeping her feelings at bay, never truly existed at all. Because he no longer sees a child when he looks at her, she has to stop and wonder if he ever had. Not only was he fully aware of the fact that she is indeed a woman, he's been fighting the urge to treat her as such.

She'd never in all their time together ever given him a reason to doubt her, never once defined him by anything more than his incredible mind, his affection for a good puzzle and her company over the occasional cup of tea. How could he doubt her so fully? How could he think she would define him by anything but the man she knows?

And at the same time, how could her armor be so transparent?

Donnie had given her every reason in the world to guard her heart and her pride. To keep everything personal and emotional tightly sealed within an iron clad fist of indifference. Daniel was never supposed to see the way his actions and words and thoughts effected her.

She slips the key in the lock on auto pilot. Drops the folder and her jacket haphazardly as she pushes her way inside, her mind still hovering in the entryway to Daniel's house where Lewicki breezed past her with a smile and an invitation to stay. She'd never even let the door fully close behind her, didn't even have a chance to call his name and let him know she was there.

In the end she'd only hung around long enough to realize the conversation was going on without knowledge of her presence and, that aside from Donnie, she was a key point of discussion. When she understood the basis of his emotional state she made a run for it.

It would only upset him further to know she had witnessed his private confessions. Not to mention forever alter the dynamic they share.

She's become so comfortable with what they've established. She's finally learned when to push and how hard, not to mention when to back off completely. How to gauge his voice and mannerisms and how best to keep him calm. Fear has never been something she considered when faced with life changing situations but the fact that she loves him, has almost always loved him, frightens her constantly.

When those words are spoken, acted upon, offered up, there is no going back.

There are only two options: forward or never again.

And she knows what life without him feels like.

The thought of losing that, of losing him, brings tears to her eyes. And the thought of something more nearly knocks her to the floor.

Could she ever be good enough for him? He's worth so much more than her wounded pride and tainted heart. He deserves a life untouched by the marks left in the wake of another man's deception.

Donnie is, indeed an ass and, he'd left his mark and caused his damage. His actions, chalked up to poor choices and opportunities being what they were (and weren't), have permanently altered the shades of her rose tinted glasses. He's forced her into a future defaulted by distrust. She can't consciously hand that fate over to anyone else.

Especially not someone as important as Daniel.

"She's worth so much more than I could ever offer her…"

The reverence in his voice is all she can cling to; how the sorrow trumps the affection and the desperation layers in. She shakes her head in an attempt to clear it, doesn't want to focus on the emotion the entire statement was coated in, not when his disappointment in having to admit it seemed to trump the entire conversation.

The anger fades as she slumps down on the living room floor and her own disappointment replaces it instantly. How could he possibly think all he had to offer couldn't be enough? How could he doubt her so much as to think she could ever want more than whom he is?

All she can see is the look on his face, the ridged posture, the hand-tossed hair. All she can hear is the tone in his voice, how broken it sounded when he admitted Donnie's assumption had been right. When he admitted he wanted her in his life in a capacity greater than anything he felt himself capable of.

Most women would take the remaining hours of thing night and have a nice hard cry. Let all the irrational emotions take over until morning. She's in the middle of giving the idea some serious consideration when there's a pronounced knock at the door.

"Kate? It's Daniel. I need to talk to you."


End file.
